On disicipline: My husband and I are experiencing the joy and the challenges in raising a cute, smart, strong-willed 3-year-old (sounds like all 3-year old, doesn’t it?). The feeling of excitment, warmth, uncertainty and frustration mixed in my head at any point in time. I am excited when he says and uses a 4-syllable word accurately (in a sentence!), when he tells me stories from school (like the snacks he eats, the disagreement on playground, and kids who cry!), when he jumps and climbs fearlessly in the playground, and when he secretly tells me he sees a beautiful little girl. I feel warm hearted when he spontaneously throws his arms around me and squeezes me tight. Yet, I feel uncertain when I wonder if I should tolerate his strong will (because it is developmentally expected) or control his self-centered unruly behaviour, particulary when he insists on his choice and opinion by screaming and yelling, which pushes all my bottons and frustrates me. Very quickly, uncertainty kicks in. I hear this little voice whispering: if I don’t show him who the boss is at the age of 3, will I have any ground to stand when he is 13? My motivation to discipline instantly turns from a grandeous desire to train him (the job of good parents, right?) to a hopeless sense of insecurity of my own authority as a parent in front of this screaming preschooler, and my fear of loosing control of an unruly teenager in a not so distant future! I am pleased to say that, so far, we have managed to create a happy ending after every episode. He hugs and says sorry (looks authentic at the time – I choose to believe so!). We are friends again. After much pondering, I have come to believe that the greatest challenge in discipline is winning our child’s heart. It may not seem important now when he is little and needy. (Out of frustration, I once said that he would have to go see our family doctor by himself if he got himself sick by blatantly refusing to put on clothes after getting wet. He said strangers would question why he is holding onto the handrail all by himself in the train without his parents, hence I must accompany him! Again, it is the parent’s fault!) But, one day, he is going to seriously wonder about his identity and his role in this world. All the rights and wrongs that we have taught him up to this point will hopefully resurface in his mind, to guide him make the right choices in life. But if his heart is connected to ours, I believe it will make his journey in identity searching somewhat easier. This is my hope.